He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
