bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
