Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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