I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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