If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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