: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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