who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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