haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
