i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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