I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
