I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
