We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
