eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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