If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize