Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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