i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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