he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
