He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
