u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have aggressive nipples.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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