She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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