It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize