dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
