just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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