We're like a lot better than the average bears
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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