Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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