He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
