We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
