His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
