we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
now i know why i became what i already was.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
