i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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