Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
