is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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