those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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