addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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