if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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