Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
