Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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