your room smells of hookers.
And success
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
