better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize