Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize