I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
