I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
