I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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