Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
