i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
