My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize