If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
