I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
