dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
