Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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