thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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