All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What a dumb baby whore.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
