Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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