Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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