Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's get the cat blown out
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
