Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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