I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
