All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize