There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
