jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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