No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He called his prostate his "boner button".
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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