Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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