why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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