Its about making memories worth repressing
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize