Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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