Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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