I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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