I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am available for nakedness
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