I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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