so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
