No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
