Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
