Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
