He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
